Life

I thought I'd lost my best friend today.

I got a phone call from her daughter to say that she'd had a heart attack - a massive one - and I just thought 'She's gone'. After all, she lives on whiskey and cigarettes and is in her eighties... For one horrible, horrible moment I was in shock.  

Then her daughter told me what ward she was in, etc... and I was so relieved. I burst into tears when I put the phone down, and realised that I have never actually told her just how much she means to me.

I visited her in hospital this evening and she looked better than I expected. She was her usual feisty self, and seemed more concerned about the possibility of missing a tv programme on Wednesday than about having had a heart attack.

I love her to bits. I'm so very grateful that she is still in my life.

Secure in my insecurities

I irritate myself endlessly. I'm sure this is not peculiar to me, and that there are many, many people who finds themselves gratingly annoying - but I have had enough.

I've been invited to a Full Moon Drumming session. I'd love to go. But I know that I won't because I am too afraid that I shall a) do something wrong, or b) be so obnoxious that everyone loathes me and begins to shun me in the street.

No, I'm not kidding.

Where do these insecurities come from? Why can't I be normal? As I say... I irritate myself endlessly with this ridiculous need to please. It has gotten to the stage where I am avoiding social situations so that people don't get the chance to dislike me!

Does that sound like the actions of a sane person? No. I didn't think so. *sigh*

In lighter news I have heard back from Island Pictures. Not much... just an email to say thanks for the synopsis and he hopes to get back to me at the end of next week. At least I don't need to be checking my emails every half an hour now. It's nice to have a company considerate enough to acknowledge you like that.

Incidentally, for my own records, 'Intermission' was previously called 'Phantasmagoria'. I loved the name (it was the title of an album by The Damned) but everyone else hated it. They were right. I was wrong. Intermission is better. =)

Have a beautiful day.

Getting my life back.

Don't get me wrong... I have LOVED having my son home this past 18 months and home educating him. It has done him the world of good and has certainly made us closer.

But...

...it will be so nice once September arrives and he starts High School. I will finally have my days to myself again and can GET SOME WRITING DONE!! I truly did not appreciate just how much time I had before. As with so many things in life, you do not value what you have until it is gone.

A whole working day. To myself. Five days a week. I am giddy with excitement. =D

I've been busy recently. I submitted the script for 'After Dark' to the Red Planet Pictures competition. I don't think it will get anywhere, but at least I have sent something. I also sent a synopsis for the newly named 'Intermission' to Island Pictures.

I rewrote the begining of my novel, 'In the Blood'. I cut five pages from chapter one and made it a prologue instead. It is faster paced now and more appropriate for the intended teenage market. Now that the above competition entry and synopsis are complete I can get back to finishing this book.

I'm enjoying writing. Just wish someone would actually pay me to do it....